So, you’ve been invited up to a cottage for the weekend? Get set to plant your butt next to the cooler, crank up the MP3 player and while away the next 48 hours in a blissful, semi-comatose state.
But don’t expect to be invited back.
Cottage owners are homeowners, remember, with a whole separate set of laundry and cooking and cleaning to do, not to mention yard work, repairs, weeding, painting... Your vacation is no picnic for them.
If you want to score a return invitation, here’s how to be a good cottage guest.
“You want to make as little of a mark on the home as possible,” says Lizzie Post, of the Emily Post Institute. (She is the great-great-granddaughter of the manners maven for whom the institute is named.) “You want to be the kind of guest who shows up and offers to help out, is always happy to go along with the game plan, who understands you don’t have to be entertained by your host 24/7.”
That means coming prepared for all contingencies. Some cottages are so remote your GPS won’t be able to find a Starbucks nearby. Deal with it.
“You have to be self-sufficient as a guest,” says Maureen Holloway, a radio personality who, with her husband John, has hosted cottage guests nearly every weekend, every summer, for 25 years. “Think of it as a deluxe camping trip,” she adds.
Linens
Bring your own towels so your hosts don’t have to constantly maintain a fresh supply.
Bring your own bed sheets – or at least offer to, says Holloway. Some hosts will prefer to use their own linens as part of the overall decor of the guest room.
Food and drink
Bring “a meal’s worth of food,” says Post, and take responsibility for one entire meal from start to finish. Extra snacks are a bonus. Can’t cook? They have these things now called “stores” where you can buy all kinds of prepared foods. If you have special dietary requirements, bring your own flax seeds and hemp milk.
And when it comes to liquor, “Don’t err on the side of caution,” Holloway stresses. “Always bring your own – and bring more than you need.”
Children
It’s a cottage, not a commune, and your hosts are not babysitters. Bring everything you need to keep your children safe – sunscreen, bug spray, inhalers – and do plan to run after them.
But while there are more hazards at the cottage, there is less to do, so bring items to keep the little ones occupied. However, cautions Post, “You don’t want to overrun someone’s house with the kiddie pool in the backyard and the mini jungle gym. Keep it simple, keep it easy for travel.”
And one more thing, says Post: make sure your kids are invited! (If you need to, ask. That goes double for pets.)
Your fair share
Expect to work. If there is a deck to be built or brush to be cleared, take the earbuds out, step away from the cooler and help out.
General etiquette
If this is your first trip to a cottage, or if it’s not really your thing but you’re going anyway, keep it to yourself. Yes, it took two hours to get there. Yes, there are bugs. No, the forecast didn’t call for rain. No, the cable company has not made on-demand movies available there yet.
At the cottage, as in life, try to be gracious. “Don’t complain,” says Post. “Go with the flow.”
And try, if you can, to avoid the faux pas one of Holloway's guests committed: don’t have sex on your host’s porch.
When have you overstayed your welcome?
Post says hosts should always set start and end dates for a visit.
In the absence of a clear directive, hostess Holloway gets the last word (as she does every weekday morning on radio stations across the country): “The rule of thumb is you arrive Friday night, you leave after brunch on Sunday.”
Gifts
“You can either bring a gift or you can send it after you get home,” advises Post.
Holloway likes to receive “something cottage-y” that she doesn’t have to transport back to the city: candles, board games, muffins in a re-useable basket.
Either way, a thank-you note is a must. Post suggests leaving one in the guest room or on the coffee table. Something to say, "Had a great time. Thanks very much. See you again next summer."
sherry.noik@sunmedia.ca
